Two weeks ago tonight I was admitted to Inova Hospital. I entered the ER hoping for a potent cocktail of painkillers and a decent night’s sleep. I will be leaving the 4th floor surgical unit as a patient fighting cancer.
To say this has been a lot to process is the understatement of my life. Everyone tells me that I am strong, that I am amazing, that my positive attitude and sense of humor will serve me well in this battle. But there have been other discussions as well. Like the discussion about the mass growing so close to my spinal cord that the doctor considers it a medical miracle I am not paralyzed. Those are words that will stay with you and replay from time to time.
So I now have a new and improved back, fortified with a titanium frame. I joke that I now have a Terminator back. Most of the mass around my spinal cord has been removed. Pathology results will determine our course of action. Dr. Mark Shasti and his team saved my life. There’s really no other way to say it.
The nurses and clinical techs have taken excellent care of me as well, both pre and post op. I’ve had a Tiger Grandma, a Florence Nightingale, and a Rock Star. The clinical techs laugh at my jokes while assisting me to the bathroom and amaze me with their work ethic. There has been laughter and tears, and a genuine camaraderie over the past two weeks.
Early on in my stay, my blood was drawn by a 6’4” tattooed guy with a man bun. His personality filled up the room. I asked if he was a vampire. He said I could call him Count Kyle. Count Kyle has stopped in to visit throughout my time here, and when I needed blood drawn for a blood culture, he was the guy they sent (or maybe he volunteered). I am what they call a “hard stick.” Pretty much every vein in both my arms has been used for something over the past two weeks. Kyle spent more than an hour methodically drawing enough blood in the least painful/invasive way possible. While he worked, we chatted about Pinot Noir wines from the Willamette Valley, his dream to work on cancer research, and what an unexpected, insane curve ball has been thrown my way. He wants to meet Stephen. He thinks I’m Wonder Woman.
And now for the shittiest part of being in the hospital during COVID: Stephen is not here with me. The building is locked down. It is just me in room 4123. My actual rock is now my virtual rock, too. We communicate via talking, texting, or using FaceTime, but it doesn’t replace being together… not even close. Stephen has taken this mountain of crappy news and dived in head first. Stephen created this blog, so our family and friends could stay up to date. He suggested I write to all of you as well, which I have been struggling with for the better part of the day. Stephen helps me focus on my breathing when I’m having a rough patch. He has reconfigured the entire first floor of our house in preparation for my return. He schedules appointments and runs interference when necessary. He is Tiger Husband. He and Dr. Shasti talk like they’re old college roommates who get together once a month for lacrosse and lattes. Stephen is nothing short of amazing.
My Mom, Dad, and Sister are feeling the COVID stress as well. And while Stephen has been the 24/7 info line for them, I know my Mom would give just about anything to hug her first born daughter right now. I miss my Dad’s “John-isms” (his low brow life lessons that Beth and I can recite if nudged) and those times when he cracks himself up to the point where we’re all about to pee our pants. And Sis has become a one woman force of nature in her own right this year. I am really looking forward to spending an entire afternoon with her at Sunset Hills, drinking a bottle of Mosaic without a care in the world.
And finally, the last piece of this puzzle: All of my friends and family. I cannot even begin to describe the impact your positive energy, thoughts, and prayers have had on me these past two weeks. You have filled me with so much love that I think I am going to burst. You know it doesn’t take much for me to start crying, but I want you to know that because of you the majority of tears being shed recently have been tears of JOY. With this support system, how could it be any other way? I read every comment on the blog. I look forward to being able to spend time with each and every one of you on a perfect, sunny afternoon (blue sky and white puffy clouds preferred). And there will be a lot of hugging (I’m a hugger) 😊
XO
Jen
OH JENNIFER, THAT WAS AN EXCELLENT WRITING OF YOUR FEELINGS! I KNOW IT MUST “GET TO YOU” NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE OR TOUCH YOUR LOVED ONES. MY WISH FOR YOU IS TO CLOSE YOUR EYES AND IMAGINE THAT ALL THAT YOU LOVE ARE CLOSE BY AND LOOKING AFTER YOU! YOU ARE DOING FANTASTIC AND THINGS WILL GET BETTER AS TIME GOES ON. WISHING YOU THE BEST IN THE WEEKS AHEAD!
LOVE YOU,
AUNT JOANNE
AND UNCLE DENNY
Jennifer,
We are all with you in spirit. We think of you often and pray this time of healing will pass by quickly and soon only be a memory. Keep up the good fight. You have tons of cheerleaders rooting for you, cheering you on and most of all praying for you.
💘Love,
Colleen and Peggy
I look forward to lots of photo outings with you and just some simple girlfriend time on the beach doing nothing together. You mean the world to me and I kinda think “Jennifer Vann” means a whole lot to “Charlie Archambault” as well! We love you! ❤️ 💕 💗
Jen, when I got a text last week that came up “contact maybe Stephen” I was like what? That’s Weird… then I opened it and read his msg. Wow!!! I immediately went to the blog to get up to speed. I have been thinking, praying every day, all day for you, for successful surgery, for your team of caregivers navigating this path with you, for Stephen as I know it has been awful to not be by your side because of the stupid Covid. I pray for healing of your body, for strength of mind, body and spirit as you await pathology results and the path forward. I am so sorry that this has become your journey, but I also know that you are an amazing and strong woman that will walk this path with super hero powers and purpose-that purpose to kick cancers ass! I love you, my dear friend. I miss you and continue to pray and send healing juju your way and so look forward to another random, planets aligned kind of last minute coffee date! (((Hugs))) Shell
That was beautiful and you are Wonder Woman, I hear there’s a movie later this year. You are all action and activity and jumping that next hurdle. How appropriate. I pray 🙏🏻 for your speedy return to the cul de sac. The blog has been amazing and yes, Stephen is a Rock. All the best, see you soon💐
So, so happy to read your words! Your fire and tenacity jump off the page! To say you’re Wonder Woman is an understatement! You have been called to be a little of EVERY superhero! We get to be the cheering crowd watching in amazement! We cannot wait to see you, hug you, drink wine with you and stare at the BEAUTIFUL sky with you! You are AMAZING! Praying for God’s AMAZING healing over every cell of your being! We love you, Stephen and Mia
Love, prayers, and plenty of hugs 🤗!!!
Wow! What a journey you’ve had in the last 2 weeks! I’m so glad to hear that your are being well cared for at the hospital. We wish we could be with you in-person, but know that you are in our thoughts. Speedy recovery my friend! You are Wonder Woman! Love you!
❤️
Well, you know you’ve left every one of us with tears in our eyes. (And no, the guys weren’t “cutting onions” or “got something” in their eye.) I’ve known you for over 40 years. I love you like a sister. You are a major piece of my life even though we live too far apart. You have been on my mind every day since you sent that text two weeks ago wanting to know if I was “up for a talk”. (Just so you know, I am ALWAYS up for a talk with you girl, you know that!!!) You have so many incredible people in your life because YOU are MORE THAN incredible, and we are all privileged to be a part of your world and your journey. Sending as much love as this internet can handle. I can’t wait for the day that I get to give you that hug. I may not let go.
Yours is one of the names I definitely heard multiple times during many years working with Jen. 💔
You are amazing! You truly are Wonder Woman. I’m so thankful they have taken such good care of you while you’ve been in the hospital. We are praying hard on this end. Sending love and lots of hugs!!
Johnny and I read your comments about the experiences you’ve had in the last two weeks and were awed by your journey! You are amazing!! And Stephen absolutely is your rock. We can’t wait to get together and have that wine and share hugs again 😘
Jennifer, you are a wonderful, sweet part of our long, long past, the present and future. We think about you every day and when you’re feeling better and the virus is over, you and Stephan should come to the beach and relax for a while. All our love, Sharon and Allen
My heart breaks for you and Stephen that this is hard right now in too many ways to count, but know I’m a text or FaceTime call away if you can and feel up to it! ❤️ And again, if you need any thing at any time—let me know—Marty and I are here for you and Stephen!
Hi Jennifer I’m glad the surgery went well and you’re in my prayers. Soon you’ll be back on your feet and Stephen will be dragging you to N.Y. for one of our cookouts. I’ll be talking to you soon love you
I’m so glad this first step of your journey has been a success. I’m positive the next will be as well! We’ve been sending prayers and positive thoughts your way! We’re always here – just say the word.
Ashley
So glad you have a great support system around you Jennifer. And your positive attitude is inspiring as well. Keep fighting and smiling. We’ll see you back in the cul de sac soon! Also, I’ve already said this to Stephen, but please let us know if there is ANYTHING you guys need help with. We are here for you. -Bryan
You are simply amazing. Sorry I’m crying happy and crazy good tears. Lots of love.
Hey Jen, glad to know your hanging in there Your a fighter keep up the positive attitude you will win. Always look forward never behind. Sheree and I are praying for you and Stephen. If you guys need anything let’s us know. Take Care Preston
Sending love and light from your Fort Ligonier family!
I talked to your MOM today for an update on your situation. We enjoyed reading your message. Keep strong!
Hugs from Ohio. Can you feel them?
Ron
Dear Jen
I am so happy to hear from you and to know you are doing very well. You are a Wonder Woman and a super and strong woman too.
God have a plans for you and He want you to come home soon.
Hang in there darling! You are in my prayers! 🙏🏽
Love
Lelle
Hey girl, this was truly beautiful. I felt your heart and your pain, your hope and your love. thank you for sharing so honestly and openly– you made me teary. Wonder Woman, huh? I kinda had you pictured more as Bat Girl! LOL! I’m sure you wonder how life got so twisted inside out and if you can handle all that has been thrust upon you and I’m here to tell you that you can and you will–your strength comes from your beautiful soul, your quick wit, and the love of your family and friends supporting you with multitudes of good wishes and heartfelt prayers. You’ve got this, sweetie!